Keeping on plan

This past week I saw a 3.4 lbs. drop in my weight. I kept within my points allotment and hit the healthy checks almost every day. I knew that I would be down. It is wonderful that I got there, but I need to remember to keep on plan again this week and keep going because it does work. I am anxious to start fitting into my old clothes and hope that I can hit my goal at some point.

Not starting over, but continuing on

I finally made it back to my weight watchers meeting. Initially, I had a time conflict because of my baby (the meeting time that I went to was dissolved and the other one was SO packed I felt uncomfortable trying to nurse while the meeting was going on as opposed to the other meeting that was more intimate), but then it became a weight issue and I didn't want to be embarrassed (self inflicted) because of the gains I had, then summer happened and I just didn't want to bring my zoo of children to a meeting just to be frustrated by the end. I could keep naming exuces, but I'll spare you any more. I was up 4 lbs. Not a good thing, but after three months off it could have been MUCH worse. I did good yesterday with sticking to the healthy checks. I even ate more veggies than fruit and anyone that knows me knows that I am a fruit fanatic. I am trying to save fruit for when those "I gotta have sweets" attacks happen I have something that will satisfy it more easily without going off plan. I am also trying my activity monitor around my neck, like a pendant on a chain. I seem to have to work harder to get points, but I'm good with that.

In the mean time, no weight measurements until Thursday. I am hoping that refraining from getting on the scale will keep me focused on this week's goal.

Let's get this over with.

I don't know about everyone else, but it seems that events that involve eating always come in groups. I could handle one but these are usually things out of my control. This week end, for instance, we had a festival in our little town with lots and lots of fair food (this is my only time to try some of the new concoctions by some of these places). Then the next morning was a meeting where breakfast was provided. Last night was a celebration I was hosting at 8 pm with lots of snacky foods. And this afternoon we have a get together at church and I'm not sure if food will be there.

I could be callous and once I have done my one indulgence for the week be done with it, but often these special occasions only come up every once in a while and are all together. I need to work on my self-control and make better initial choices. I did that at the festival. It was the leftover food from the kids that I wanted to try. I could have brought my own breakfast and refused the breakfast at the meeting, but I am a social eater and thought it would be better just to eat there instead of eating then feeling pressure to eat again there. Last night was just a bust. I was constantly snacking as things were getting ready. On the bright side I did eat a lot of veggies.

I'm ready for this wave to be over.

Comments others make

Emotional eating is bad and like I have mentioned before I'm bad about doing it...especially when I am experiencing extremes. I remember growing up and having family members call or write and the thing they would ask about after the usual "How are you doing?" was about my weight loss or lack thereof. I doubt it was intentional and came from a concern for my health, but it would always spiral me into a depression. No teenage girl needs to constantly be reminded that she isn't measuring up. I had enough pressure coming from my mom and peers at school. I never heard family call mom and immediately ask how giving up cigarettes was going.

There is a story I would like to share, because, well, it still haunts me to this day. The pressure that I was under as a kid and living with the consequences of everyone's disapproval, but had no control over the circumstances.

My parents divorced when I was VERY young. Once my dad moved out of state I could count on one hand how often he visited. On one particular visit he was hanging around the house and went out back to lounge. I wanted to be close to him and talk (like any kid would). He proceeded to light a joint. I was a kid and although I knew what he was doing was wrong, ignored it and stayed outside. (He wasn't so bad to offer any to me...so you can calm down). I smelled the marijuana smoke and began to get hungry. I did what any other person would do and snacked...a lot appearently. I didn't know being around that would cause "the munchies" but it did. When he got to my grandma's house, he told her about how all I did was eat when he was there. After his visit she called my mom and said I needed to get some control. I was devastated. I couldn't tell anyone about his smoking weed around me or I might never see him again. I was heartbroken when I found out he didn't bother to see me when he was in the area one time later on. It felt like I couldn't do anything right.

I learned how to control myself a little more in college when I was able to distance myself from family that unintentionally sabotage any success I may have had. Now I have children that say things every once in a while about my weight and I try to let it slide off my back and that is much easier to accept than when an adult mentions something. Kids don't know any better, adults do.